Yesterday Diana, Sarah, Sook and I lurked at Tavern all afternoon to celebrate Sook’s belated birthday.

We sat inside under a giant skylight. Or was it outside under a giant canopy? Who’s to say?

Either way, apparently some people thought it was really bright in there.

By the way, I was kidding, we were definitely inside and there’s no excuse for wearing your glasses inside at brunch unless your name starts with J. and ends with Lo, in which case it’s still unacceptable, but at least sort of expected.

Service was relaxed but professional. By relaxed I mean slow. Although it’s that kind of place and I’m glad they didn’t rush us. I might have been more glad if I could’ve eaten something else off the menu besides four leaf clovers, but that’s my own fault, isn’t it.

Bread for the table, served with salt and butter:

Diana ordered monkey bread, too. Why do they call it that? Do monkeys like cinnamon?

My salad had fennel, citrus, and green olives. It was perfect. For about 5 minutes. Until I wanted to stab myself in the eye out of hunger. Stupid veganism.

Sarah had the wild mushroom frittata with spinach and, what–goat cheese? Came with potatoes that needed salt.

Diana had the Tavern “benedict” with prosciutto and lemon.

Sook had the smoked fish with toasted rye and what the website says is goat cheese, but what she reported to be whipped cream cheese. I trust our soldier on the front lines.

At this point in the meal, fuck, it started getting really bright. I mean, just look at the ceiling:

According to Sook there is a saying in Korean that says something like, if you make fun of something you will turn into it.

Koreans are a wise people:

After I sexually harassed a teenager baking bread in the front on my way to feed the meter, I reported back to the table that I had scared him with my come hither look. I guess sometimes we don’t look as cute as we think we do. Diana called this my “come hither or I’ll kill you” look. Note to self, adjust friendliness in facial expressions before my next attempt at harassment.

Diana’s come hither look involves props:

Sook’s look is all about not looking:

Sarah’s look was arguably the only one that would attract, not repel, the opposite sex:

For dessert, creamsicle coupe? Seriously, Tavern, update your website. You’re making me look bad.

Sook couldn’t keep her fingers outta this picture if her life depended on it. Fortunately it didn’t, plus it was her birthday so I let her slide.

Great brunch, beautiful spot, silly friends. See you dudes in less than a week, unless you haven’t forgiven me for the come hither part of this post, in which case I’ll just have to use my seductive facial expressions to woo you back. Don’t let it come to that.